It’s (not) da bomb

The explosion in Abuja today elevates Nigeria into the ranks of those countries that are advanced enough to have to constantly worry about terrorism.

It is a dubious and entirely unwarranted honour, because Nigerians are notoriously scared of dying. You can’t even make a joke about death to a Nigerian, they will cross themselves and mutter “God forbid” under their breath.

When Umar the Underwear Bomber was caught, most Nigerians disowned him, they said he was probably from Togo only claiming Nigeria. After more of his story was released, they said, “oh, he is rich, a normal Nigerian wouldn’t do that.” They later convinced themselves that the reason he waited until the end of the flight when it was about to land was because he remembered he was Nigerian and didn’t want to blow himself up.

Unfortunately, we are not advanced enough to have metal detectors at every entrance, or bomb-sniffing dogs. And we still use tribal profiling as our primary method of security protection. ₦50 will get you past any police checkpoint and ₦800 is how much it costs to sneak anything onto a plane. You can quote me on these numbers because I’ve seen both.

If enough people decide to go apeshit, our lives are essentially forfeit.

God help us all.

Who will protect us?

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