waste not, want not

My friend went to one of those big end of year concerts. I think the Star Mega Jam or something.

He took his camcorder there, shot the performances, and was showing us the footage after he got back.

In the video, he captures a few of the musical performances, then he sweeps across the crowd heads to the parking lot, still filming, and settles on a Lamborghini. My friend keeps the camera on the car and zooms in on the tyres and says (to us watching), “Check out, the car is so low it cannot drive over a can of coke.”

I am always a little proud when I see exotic cars in Nigeria. It warms my heart because it stands in contrast to the footage we always see coming out of Africa. It gives me hope that there is more where that came from and it shows that you can get anything in Nigeria.

At the same time, I am confounded by the utter uselessness of having a Lamborghini here.

Maybe I just don’t know the secret places in Nigeria where you can lay on the throttle and let your car ease up to 300 km/hr. But there has to be only about three long smooth stretches of road in Lagos. And if you factor in traffic lights and crowds, you’ll probably be down to just one road where you could drive the car.

If you had a car like that, where could you drive it to, besides to the Star Mega Jam and only if you lived next to the concert.

Even if you wanted to go somewhere else with better roads, you would have to put the car in a container to transport it to, Abuja for example, just so you could drive it there in stop-and-go traffic (by yourself).

You could have gotten a cheaper car, paid a driver for his entire lifetime, and hired a woman with small delicate hands to give you foot massages while you were stuck in the neverending traffic, but rather than be chauffeured around in luxury, you opted for a Lamborghini that you can only drive on one road in the state.

Instead, you decided to burden yourself with a car that insists you pore over a map, plotting a course to avoid all roads with potholes in Lagos before you go anywhere.

Punk move, man.

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