The teacher storms into the class late. He starts writing on the board without saying a word. Then he turns around to the students and shouts, “What are you waiting for? Tear out a piece of paper from your notebook and take this test!”
1) You sent your househelp on an errand to purchase some food items. You gave him more than enough money hoping he would bring back some change. But he didn’t. He is a ________ guy.
2) You are a student at the local school, and you are playing in front of the classroom. You have positioned one of your friends down the corridor to let you know when a teacher is coming so that you can _______ yourself
3) You have been offered a job. You will be paid 500,000 naira to do absolutely nothing. Does that make sense?
(a) That job makes sense.
(b) That job does not make sense.
(c) This question makes sense.
(d) This question does not make sense.
4) You are at a traffic light in Yaba, and a danfo is behind you. When the light turns green, the danfo driver is most likely to say __________.
(a) carry on, chairman
(b) carry go, chairman
(c) carry over, chairman
(d) this is a trick question, there are no traffic lights in Yaba.
5) For a man to be in a love triangle, he would have to be ________ someone other than his wife.
6) The teacher approached the students to be punished with a ________ in his hand.
7) Which of the following is the most appropriate advice for someone coming to Lagos for the first time?
(a) hold your wallet
(b) cover your ass
(c) shine your eye
(d) protect your neck
8) Your son is the tallest child in his class. He has just been beaten up by a girl in his class that is half his size. The boy is crying, he is looking at you through his tears hoping for some comfort. That boy has ________________.
(a) fallen far from the tree
(b) fallen on hard times
(c) fallen your hand
(d) fallen out of favour
9) What is your name?
10) What is today’s date?
Put down your pencils.
Answers are below.
1.B 2.D 3.A 4.B 5.D 6.B 7.C 8.C
9. Bonus 10. Bonus