I have a friend who “only likes hot guys.” I pointed this out this casually to her expecting some pushback, but her only response was, “Yeah, so?” So I shut up and kept walking.
I was rolling this around in my head later, wondering why it bugged me. I suppose partly it is because I don’t think of myself as a hot guy. Not because I need a pat on the head and some reassurance, it is fine, people are attracted to all kinds, and hotness isn’t my shtick.
But that meant I was bothered by her tastes only because it excluded me.
I flipped it around and wondered how I would feel, or currently feel about my male friends who say they only date pretty girls. And see, that bugs me too.
Maybe it is just me versus the evil attractive people of the world, but no. I have a female friend who only dates black guys and a male friend who only dates Asian girls. These stand out negatively for me too.
It is the exclusive pronouncement that gets me.
Now, my “only hot guys” friend is someone people ask me about a lot.
They would nudge, wink and say, “What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing,” I would say, “Is there something in your eye?”
Then they will say, “Well, why don’t you try?”
This is the biggest trap in the world, to be the person who is dating someone who wouldn’t normally date someone like you. I know people it has gone well for.
They tell you flashback stories like, “I only used to date bad boys, but I decided to give one nice guy a chance and now, we are married.” The whole time batting eyelashes and flashing their rings, while the nice guy is in the background feeding a crying baby, or washing dishes in the kitchen, his head swelling because we are talking about him positively. Poor sap.
You do not want to be the poster boy for an entire race or type of people where every single thing you do is magnified and paraded as the template for how your kind operates. Then two years down the road, she’ll be telling her friends, “I dated this ugly guy once. Let me tell you, people wouldn’t even look at us when we went out. It was hell.”