Over-share dot com

My friend came up with this idea for a dating website called The Skeleton Database.
Let me explain.

Think business development, think relevance, and above all, think added value.

Every dating site out there operates by asking the most basic question: Can you, sitting at home in your tear-soaked pyjamas with that faint smell of regret wafting from you, can you fall in love with the person whose carefully polished profile you’re looking at? A profile which is a representation of them at their very best?

And the answer very frequently is Yes. As it should be. Of course, look at you, you’re in a bad place and look at him or her. Wearing a suit, a beaming smile and a professional haircut like they’re posing for the cover of a magazine. That flattering profile picture sitting atop a listing of all the things they’ve accomplished and how they’d like to do even more. Scroll through their profile pictures and it is more photos of them doing important things, giving presentations to doe-eyed colleagues, shaking hands with a celebrity, overseeing Middle East peace talks, diffusing a bomb.

And you, you’re home, you wipe the dripping mucus from your nose with the back of your hand, and you think, yes, yes, I want him but first, let me upload some pictures of myself doing some cool things too.

That is why dating sites are so successful. By asking the wrong question, they keep you failing and coming back. Massive profits for all.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Sure, someone is going to want you once you’ve cleaned yourself up and gotten out of that track suit with the oily food stains on the top and white crud stains on the bottom. Sure, someone will want you if they had to choose based on glamour shots you selected yourself.
But what’s going to happen at the end of the day?
I’ll tell you, you come back home to your old comfortable clothes.

So no.
Our dating site asks a different question, a more important question: Will you, sitting at home picking your nose with your finger then biting the nail of that finger you just extracted from your nose, is anyone willing to fall in love with you at your very worst?

Because once a potential mate can hop that hurdle, everything else is easy.

The Skeleton Database implores you, “Bring your skeletons out of their closets.” Let us see who will love you after all that has been revealed.

Tell us about the time you had diarrhea at a meeting with a big client.
Is that why you left your last job? Were you fired?
How many times have you been in jail? In a strip club? In a compromising position with a married person?
Yeah, yeah *waves hand dismissively* I know you’re a different person now.
But what are you willing to do for a promotion? For a pass mark? Or for some extra cash? Hmm, you dirty dirty man.
You look like the type of person who likes to scratch his testicles then sniff his fingers. Are you, that type of person?
*leans in closer* What is the worst thing an ex knows about you?
Come on. Share..

Put your worst foot forward and everything after that is an improvement from the first impression.

All of this is confidential information, and by that, I mean we intend to share it with everyone who comes to our site.


5 thoughts on “Over-share dot com

  1. Its kinda like the other Jerry Springer show, Baggage.

    But sometimes I wonder, if all my flaws were known upfront, wouldn’t that be more of a deterrent? Surely a half and half would be best, some flaws, some achievements to balance it out.

    Don’t people accept the flaws of a person more often because they enjoy/appreciate their good qualities?

    • You’re right, in RL, knowing flaws upfront will discourage people if there was no balance.
      The idea here would be that they would find out the flaws with the full knowledge that it is the absolute worst. Everything else is good.
      It is like knowing something in your food will taste horrible. You can eat it with the meal and dread each bite, or you can gobble it up first and look forward to non-stop deliciousness afterwards.

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