You know when you don’t like someone, not because of anything they have done to you, but because of something they did to someone you know.
Like if a female friend tells you: “I cannot stand that guy. You won’t believe what he did.” Then she goes ahead to tell you some repugnant sexist shit that this dude did. And you’re totally on her side. You’re nodding throughout the story, you gasp in all the right places during the retelling.
So the next time you meet the guy, maybe you work at the same company and he comes over to your desk to use your stapler, you let him know what you think of his policies by rolling your eyes, hissing loudly and saying, “Why can’t you just get your own?”
He doesn’t even know where this is coming from. “Jeez,” he says, “sorry madam.” And that is the last time he ever comes to borrow anything from you. Which should teach him a lesson for crossing you or any of your friends.
A few months later, your friend calls to tell you she is now going out with this same guy. She doesn’t even call, she bbms you: “He finally asked me out” followed by three exclamation marks, the dancing smiley and the eyelashes one.
Your reaction is the confused smiley and the lips are sealed one. She says, “Ah ah, don’t be like that. That was then. Can’t you let things go?”
Now you’re stranded on the island of hate; population one, looking like you were the one that started the beef.
More time passes. You try to warm up to him, but things can never be normal. He is as wary of you as you are of him.
One day, she posts a Instagram picture. It is a fat ring on a fat finger. You send her a message. “Congratulations girrrl! When are we celebrating?”
She replies two hours later.
“We are doing something small for the engagement. Only a few friends.”
You send the big smile smiley or maybe the rotfl one.
She continues: “My fiance doesn’t think you should come. He says you don’t like him.”
Oh ho! But she’s not done yet.
“Don’t worry,” she says, “we’ll still see you at the wedding.”
She didn’t just drop the F word in an exclusion message, she also offered you wedding pittance like some distant relative.
Anyway, in this purely hypothetical situation, who is to blame?
Asking for a friend.