Powers Revisited

To:

The desk of Nick Fury
Shield Helicarrier
Skies of Abeokuta

Re: Recruitment exercise for Nigerian Reserve team of Earth’s mightiest heroes

Sir,

Below is a summary of the prospective candidates at the open call that took place in Lagos with the chief interviewer’s notes appended.

Code name: Gbomo
Powers and description:
Woman – anyone she touches with her (magic?) feather turns into a tuber of yam. By her admission, nothing else can be transformed for the 12 hour period where the person remains a tuber.

Interviewer’s notes:
For her demonstration, she brought a young girl with her who she brushed with the feather. After the child changed into a tuber of yam, the woman unwrapped a black sack and put the ex-child now-tuber in it. I asked her if the yam had to be kept in the sack after the transmutation, i.e. if the sack had stasis/null field applications. She mashed her gums together as she thought about it. Through the interpreter, she said, sack is just easier to carry around. We did not observe the child return to human form during the course of the interview.

 

Code name: Hardeymolar
Powers and description:
Boy with voice powers – First thing he says each day comes true, or if it is an order the listener is compelled to fulfill it. Provided Hardeymolar hasn’t brushed, eaten, or drank anything yet before he speaks.

Interviewer’s notes:
He wore a scarf over his mouth. Initially we assumed it was his costume, odd because no other candidate wore a costume but discovered it was because his interview was at 3pm and his breath had started to get offensive as he had waited all day without saying or eating anything.

 

Code name: Iya Peju
Powers and description:
Woman who turns into bird. Limitations not discussed (see below).

Interviewer’s notes:
She asked that the curtains be drawn and the lights turned out. She tapped the tattoo on the inside of her arm, it glowed, and then her clothes fell to the ground. A pigeon crawled out of the bundle of clothes. While we waited, the pigeon pecked at a pouch that had been around her waist. The pouch broke open and garri (local ground dried cassava meal) spilled out of it. The bird ate from the garri and spread it on the carpet as we watched. Nothing else happened. It poked at the grains, we waited. An hour later we released the bird out of the window and had her things cleaned up. Her paperwork did not state the duration of the effect and we had neglected to ask before the transformation. Jim suggested the pigeon was scratching messages in the garri. I disagreed. Images are attached for your evaluation.

 

Code name: Multiplying man
Powers and Description:
Man with a 200 naira note that always comes back to him if he spends it or gives it away.

Interviewer’s notes:
Interview ran long because we had to wait 26 minutes for money to reappear in his pocket after he had given it to me for the demonstration.
While we waited, he asked if he would get US visa as part of offer if he was accepted into the team. I asked if he was planning to pay for the international flight with the same 200 naira note over and over. He laughed. He said, “What of Dubai?”

 

Code name: Super Dele Oguntokun
(possibly also his real name)
Powers and Description:
Muscular man in briefs. Super strength, (limited) invincibility.

Interviewer’s notes:
He lifted the conference table in the interview room. He lifted two of the conference room chairs on each shoulder. One with me in it, and the other with Helen. An admirable feat as we were both the heaviest people in the room.
After the furniture lifting, I asked Super Dele if there was anything else. He said, “Knife cannot cut me. If you stab me like this,” (he mimed an overhand stabbing motion) “the blade will bend.”
I nodded and wrote it down. He continued and I’m quoting here. “Any iron bullet from the hand of my enemy will curve when it reach me.”
I asked if he could show us. He stared at me for a long time. Then he took a threatening step toward me and said, “Why? Are you my enemy?”
I told him we would call him.

 

Code name: Chidi Bolt
Powers and Description:
His application said: Able to run at great speed.

Interviewer’s notes:
We took him down to the gym and rolled out the heavy duty treadmill used to test super speed. He folded his trousers midway between his knees and ankles in preparation, I asked if he needed any special gear, like a heat resistant suit or frictionless shoes. He said, “No, barefoot or slippers is okay.”
He asked if I would stand in front of the treadmill holding out a one thousand naira note while he ran. Which I did. After trotting for five minutes, he asked if I could tweet at him with my lips and showed me how to. He said, shake the money, I did that too. His eyes lit up and he ran faster.
After sprinting for fifteen minutes in which he showed no signs of flagging, my arm started to ache holding out the money. I asked if he was capable of going any faster.
“Oga,” he said, not even a little out of breath. “This thing is not beans. As I am running like this, I can catch any danfo in go-slow. And I can pursue it from Oshodi to Anthony even up to Gbagada.”
He was capped at 22km/hr.

 

Code name: Baba
Powers and Description:
Remote viewing (unproven), Able to see the future (unproven)

Interviewer’s notes:
He sat cross-legged in the middle of room. Into a calabash, he mixed his saliva with some black powder. The resulting paste bubbled. He pressed some leaves in his bony palms and squeezed the extract into the calabash. Then he chanted for a few minutes and said my mother-in-law had put a dead lizard under my bed. He said if I entered the house and smelled peppers or ‘iru’ I would know it was working. He wasn’t able to clarify what he meant by “it”.

 

Human resources pointed out that few if any of the powers have viable consistent combat application. We await your final recommendation.

Sincerely,
C. Barton

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14 thoughts on “Powers Revisited

  1. “What of Dubai?”
    “Why? Are you my enemy?” I told him we would call him.
    “This thing is not beans. As I am running like this, I can catch any danfo in go-slow. And I can pursue it from Oshodi to Anthony even up to Gbagada.”
    Talented people abound in our neck of the woods! 🙂

  2. Iya Peju sounds like the most promising of the lot – potential reconnaissance applications there… Assuming that:
    a) her mental powers are not significantly affected by the transformation form female to pigeon
    b) some means of extracting the information she gathers can be devised (there might have been a point to the garri scrawl I think)…

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