Big Sallah


SALLAH The one with ram All other Muslim public holidays that you get to stay home for but without ram, unless your landlord has money.
PHONE The one that has data

Also “my WazApp number”

Requires you to carry a charger around, and ask people at restaurants, at the airport, at weddings, “Can you help me plug it?”

Has torchlight

Lasts a few days on one battery charge

Tied with rubber band

DADDY / MUMMY Uncle or Aunt older than parent N/A
GEN Usually diesel.

The one that can power the A/C and freezer

Petrol powered

Carries fans and lights only. Can be used to charge Big Phone.

If you turn on the iron, someone from the back of the house will shout, “Who on’ed the iron? Don’t you know we are on small gen!”

2 thoughts on “Big Sallah

  1. All hail rugged Nokia phones. So reliable and can last days with a bar. The torchlights is bright indeed. I couldn’t help laughing at “who on’ed the iron?”. Don’t you know we are on small gen? I can relate very well with it. SMH. Thanks for the piece, Tolu.

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